The Paper Doll Mentality

 I don't think I could have titled this blog any better because for those of you who have ever held a paper doll in your hand you can relate or for you boys perhaps it was those transformers along with Lego's. You had the power to change any thing you wanted it to be! That's a powerful thought! This thought really dawned on me today because at age 23 I have come to discover myself in a new light.  I have never felt more transformed then I do  now. In fact I can relate to the paper doll because  with a paper doll you can change her hair, clothes and well give her own personality. You we're the creator!  This by no means entitles us that we're God but everyday you & I make the choice of how one will clothe themselves.  I believe there are two profound choices: lies or truths!
 I  have definitely and do have my share of both worlds. From the time I have hit middle school I have tested the waters of  trying to figure out who I was from the blond high lights to how many layers of foundation does it take to cover up that zit.  I have also  been the girl who tried the liquid eyeliner, signed herself up for the Republican Club and  the girl who never spoke up  because she didn't think her voice matter. The automatic truth was I was hiding who I was really inside. I never cared for politics  or for  eye liner. I just wanted to be accepted knowing I was beautiful. I desired out of all this to simply be heard. I wanted a voice!
 I was buried under 4 years of lies and it has taken 4 years for me to discover what it means to stand tall! This is where I am currently. I am beginning to see the things I enjoy and realizing I don't have to be a paper doll or a wall flower. This girl who stand before loves the simple things such as meeting people where they are. She has also discovered she is a : Facilitator, Disciples, Truth Speaker, Teacher  along with one who doesn't have to cut up her heart surrendering to one thing.
I have come to acknowledge every part of my heart is important! This is a breath of fresh air!In fact this is often what my beloved BCM minister Dean Whitaker would tell me along with  my mentor Magan! The one truth that I fought for so long was wrapped in all that I have written here. Here it is, "  All I want is you." That's hard to accept because it's so easy for us to think there is more but  when we  look at those who came before us  such as Ruth, Esther, David  Paul and etc; God shows us that it was never about ability! It was about availability! I am still letting this sink in! However, this is such a leap from where I was!  So, I  put this question before us, " What will it take for you to step out of the paper doll Mentality or  Creator mentality? Will we let God be our Creator?