Over the past couple of days I have come to experience many emotions but in some ways there is some bitter sweetness that sweeps over my heart today. I am 5 days away before I move in as a student one more time. And I can't compare half of the emotions that have been over my heart since this summer. There is joy from the summer but also some sadness from some of the changes taking place in my life. At the same time there is curiosity because I don't know what's next after December. However, in this time I have learned how fragile the heart can be.
The heart can develop so many emotions and some that you didn't even know you could feel. And if there has been a time in my life I have realized how weak our heart can be at times. At the same time I have found that this is why our hearts must be embraced with the Father's because our flesh will fail. Even David felt this way in Psalm 73:26, " My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." I think if any body understood emotions it was David. And knew where to come with all of his emotions. That's a question I have asked lots on in how to be healthy with our emotions along with knowing God gave us them. However, I believe that answer was given to us just by seeing David's relationship with the Father.
He simply brought them to the King.
However, I don't know about you but sometimes He's the last place I bring them too. And it's quiet funny considering He already knows the battle of our flesh. Isn't amazing though that we have this same knowledge as David or many others before our time but fail to apply ? I know that's what has been hitting me hard this week. At the same time I know sometimes to understand the truth our hearts have to hear it a 1,000 times. I don't know that I can totally wrap my mind around it but what I do know is there will be days that we struggle but we must let it stop us from being all that we we're called to be. So, even if our hearts fail; there is still Jesus and even when our hearts are strong there is still Jesus! May this be our peace ~ And when it's not may our hearts be reminded.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
Growing in Grace Part 2 ( What is Your Platform?)
In my previous blog I talked about being Single but today I want talk about seeing it as a platform. Although there have been an array of emotions I have been reminded that it's are brokenness that makes us real. I want to especially address this part because I have off and on asked this question," Is there a point where even a content person doesn't feel content?" I know that sounds ironic but I think it's very possible because I think no matter what sometimes our desires can feel so out of reach. And it's not because God doesn't want to give them to us but because He has timing.At the same time I also want to mention I don't believe God gives us these desires by accident but in some ways from what I'm experiencing it doesn't always make sense because I've been asking God, " What am I to do with my desires?"
And there are moments I wonder if it's natural but I have to keep pressing in. So when I talk about platforms I believe God has given us each one. Platforms are the moments/ seasons in life. They give us the ability to relate to others especially those who don't know Him. And that's so important because when we're broken it's hard to relate to something that is whole. Or I know for me it is because I can get so easily consumed with my own brokeness. So, when we're willing to meet our own brokeness we also get the chance to be real.
And that's one of the key things I want to mention because I know from the thoughts of a Single person I can find myself saying what am I suppose to do with this part.That's one of the many reasons I wanted to take that topic further because as a 23 year old I know that we face pressures from our families, dorms, and even media. I'm not say it's all cake either but I am learning that it's a lot more then questions because even if we don't feel like it our Father is growing us.
So I guess in my closing words I would say , " What is your Plattform?" and " How are you using it?" And I hope that His grace this would encourage someone because it's so easy to put on our plastic suits.
And there are moments I wonder if it's natural but I have to keep pressing in. So when I talk about platforms I believe God has given us each one. Platforms are the moments/ seasons in life. They give us the ability to relate to others especially those who don't know Him. And that's so important because when we're broken it's hard to relate to something that is whole. Or I know for me it is because I can get so easily consumed with my own brokeness. So, when we're willing to meet our own brokeness we also get the chance to be real.
And that's one of the key things I want to mention because I know from the thoughts of a Single person I can find myself saying what am I suppose to do with this part.That's one of the many reasons I wanted to take that topic further because as a 23 year old I know that we face pressures from our families, dorms, and even media. I'm not say it's all cake either but I am learning that it's a lot more then questions because even if we don't feel like it our Father is growing us.
So I guess in my closing words I would say , " What is your Plattform?" and " How are you using it?" And I hope that His grace this would encourage someone because it's so easy to put on our plastic suits.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Room to Grow in Grace
It is 6:01 A.M which seems to be an odd time to be awake or for me it is at least but it's also been a peaceful for me even though I am not a morning person. I've needed this morning very much because the past few days since I've been home from my Summer missions, I have found my heart to be a sea of emotions especially with my younger sister getting married. And because there hasn't been a lot of distractions my emotions have been to it's fullest. I actually didn't come into a lot of this awareness of how much was going inside until now. It took the Father to use a friend of mind and His word to point this out to me.
I had been using distractions for so long or at least I didn't have much time to think about it when I was gone that it was like my heart it me like a giant wave. And once it was brought to my face I could identify areas that would make this true because whenever my sister starts talking about her wedding I want to tune her out. I honestly have found it hard to be of approval and understanding. And it's been particularly hard for me to understand because I feel like it's so unfair. Grant it those are my feelings but I've been learning to work through my feelings and that we don't have to apologize for our feelings. Our feelings can be a scary place but it can also give us a reality check of who we are.
And so as I write this I pray that our Father can use this for His glory because I imagine I am not the first to deal with this matter ; especially when a sweet friend of mine from Richmond shared her story with me. I also at the same time have become aware that I need to give myself room to grow in grace. That's another point I really want to cross this morning. I don't want to emphasize the emotional more or less over the words that have been spoken to me. These are just a few word the Father has began to speak over me:
Isaiah 33:2,6 & 22
* 2
Lord , be gracious to us for we long for you. Be our strength every morning. Our salvation in the time of distress
*6
He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich stone of salvation and wisdom and knowledge. The Fear of the Lord the key to this treasure
* 22
For the Lord is our judge, the Lord is our Lawgiver, the Lord is our King, It is He who will save us
I know those are just a few words but it's what my heart needed this morning. And if your an emotional person like me I pray that Our Father can use this to speak truth to you. Grant it I know some of us may not be dealing with these circumstances, however what I have learned also too is that feelings allow us to relate. So, today I pray Our Father would remind us to give ourselves some grace to grow.
I had been using distractions for so long or at least I didn't have much time to think about it when I was gone that it was like my heart it me like a giant wave. And once it was brought to my face I could identify areas that would make this true because whenever my sister starts talking about her wedding I want to tune her out. I honestly have found it hard to be of approval and understanding. And it's been particularly hard for me to understand because I feel like it's so unfair. Grant it those are my feelings but I've been learning to work through my feelings and that we don't have to apologize for our feelings. Our feelings can be a scary place but it can also give us a reality check of who we are.
And so as I write this I pray that our Father can use this for His glory because I imagine I am not the first to deal with this matter ; especially when a sweet friend of mine from Richmond shared her story with me. I also at the same time have become aware that I need to give myself room to grow in grace. That's another point I really want to cross this morning. I don't want to emphasize the emotional more or less over the words that have been spoken to me. These are just a few word the Father has began to speak over me:
Isaiah 33:2,6 & 22
* 2
Lord , be gracious to us for we long for you. Be our strength every morning. Our salvation in the time of distress
*6
He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich stone of salvation and wisdom and knowledge. The Fear of the Lord the key to this treasure
* 22
For the Lord is our judge, the Lord is our Lawgiver, the Lord is our King, It is He who will save us
I know those are just a few words but it's what my heart needed this morning. And if your an emotional person like me I pray that Our Father can use this to speak truth to you. Grant it I know some of us may not be dealing with these circumstances, however what I have learned also too is that feelings allow us to relate. So, today I pray Our Father would remind us to give ourselves some grace to grow.
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