Abba's Little Girl

 " Do you love me?", How many times have you or I asked ourselves that question. Or maybe you have heard yourself say , " ___________ ( Name) is not worth it. You can fill in the blank however you wish but we have all asked that or we have heard voices that have played over & over. Just a few days ago I met some precious people but one individual stood out to me. I can't give a name due to privacy. However, this individual was handi-caped. I was able to relate to her. She was an image of a person I know very well. This person I'm talking about is me. She was the display of a little girls mind  and that is often where I do find myself.



 And the more I listen to her I realize I do that constantly with God. God will show me His love but I'll ask again. However, during my trip I realized for the first time that  I need to really know this because when we experience this one then were able to walk free!
This is one I'm in constant need of because  no matter how confident I strive to be; my little girl wall does crawl up. I end up going into child mode thinking these things as mentioned " Do you love me?' and "April's not worth it."  However, that's not the person I was meant to be and the Lord once again reminded me of that through my beautiful sister Jill and  brother  Michael. They would say small things like " I'm glad your you " and " I love your laugh". Those two things meant so much to me but the one thing that really touched me was my kiss on the cheek from my Spiritual Mama! Her name is Magan! She's taken me under her wing since my Freshmen year of college and  the beautiful part of this Kiss is it's become symbolic to me because it reminds me of my grandmother!  And to know that my Father has many ways like a Kiss to send His love is priceless! It's also taught me value you because Kisses are something that should be given with meaning and not just away. Therefore, it encourages me also in another aspect that saving my kiss for my future husband is  worth it and not only that but there's value to who I am! That's what kisses mean to me! I know this was a little bit of everything! However, my heart rejoices because I know this is my Abba's love!