The Tables Open

 Today I sat across my lovely friend Ashley! We usually talk about many things with our little coffee chats but one thing we talked about is my fear that God couldn't use me over seas or in ministry because of my fear  that may lack emotional stability.  Let me give you a little background on that. Last semester I dealt with a lot of saddness from my grandma's death to  missing my friends who have moved. I also became overwhelmed and burnt out. I  had gotten to a point that I didn't know what to do. So I sought medical help. I decided to try Lexapro but that only drove more fear in me.

However, I took it because I thought I've got nothing to loose. I thought maybe this Dr. that prescribed me to this med could help. There we're moments honestly I thought I couldn't go on. And it was hard because people we're telling me so many things right and left. It wasn't til I claimed Jesus that things started  to change. I knew I had to get off this med. So, I started weaning off. However, hear is the God factor part! In order to get off you are told to wean yourself; which is what I started doing but eventually I got to a  point I would forget to take it. I was also told if you stop it without weaning that you may have side effects. However, that never happened to me!
I'm telling you this is a God thing!  I am sharing this because my circumstances last semester led me to a lot of shame. I would often hide from people  because I couldn't let them see the brokeness that I was going through.

Yet, the truth is that is what Satan wanted. Satan wanted me to think I was too missed up. And yes, I still struggle with my anxiety at times but my friend Ashley remined me today that God usese our brokeness  to connect to people. Our brokeness also allows others to see we're all welcome to the table. So, whatever your  struggled, please know the tables open.