What do you think about when you think of the word community? Think about the people, places, food and perhaps some memories. These moments seem so small but they shape who we are. In fact when I reflect back to many things I enjoyed and still enjoy reading I have always enjoyed biographies or pieces that we're applicable. I would like to share with you the pieces that have made me part of who I am rather it's a story or poem.
In this current update of my life I have been learning what little do I know or just when I think I figured life out I haven't. Especially from this season of just being a graduate from Cumberland. I even thought what, " What does the average 23 year old feel who is turning 24?" I can't speak from every 23 year old but for me it is awkward I'm not a youth , college student or even in my 30's. I keep telling myself I am an adult but sometimes I say it so much I don't know rather I can believe it. Although I heard a song this week called " Who You Are " by JJ Heller. This song made me think there are a lot of unknowns. Sometimes it's a unknown....
Fear
Hurt
Anticipation
Although I think they could some how tie together at one point. And the hardest part of the unknown is when we don't have answers or we have a friend who needs the answer.I think the more my mind rolls over and over these thoughts I'm reminded that it really is a test of knowing who God is. It's so easy to claim God when we know what's happening but when the page seems blank it's easy to question and wonder. I don't know what season everyone is in but I thought this song was too good to not share:
Today I was just scrolling and scrolling and usually sometimes its' mindless scrolling on FB but today I found a story worth sharing. I don't really know this young lady but I know the friend who shaved her head. This is the story of a young girl who shaved her head for her grandpa and for teens with cancer. I must admit that takes guts because as I looked at this girl who did it with volunteer, I realized how attached I am to my hair. I can only imagine what goes through someones mind who has cancer. I imagine there are even a few tears and perhaps various questions. However, looking at her story along with the others on:
I realized how brave my grandma was when she had cancer. I can't imagine the familiar things that seem to be normal in how they change. I especially think it's so funny how we can get attached to life but when it involves a physical change, I believe the cut is a little deeper. It's not just your hair but it's looking in the mirror accepting the scars and the walk to become cancer free. I could't cover or try to explain what goes through someones mind as such but these stories on St. Baldricks is worth reading.
Yesterday, I visited someone who is very dear to me. She wasn't there but the memories we're. I know this doesn't make sense that I visited but she wasn't there but let me further our conversation. This person was my grandma. My grandma was a special person in my life and still is. I miss her everyday but there are things I learned from her life even in the mess. One thing that comes to my mind is often how my grandma would give me a $20.00 before I went back to campus and she would tell me to enjoy life. I miss those moments a lot. It was never about the money but the fact she loved me. There may have been moments I even thought she was over protective or didn't understand but there we're things God taught me through her life. I also thought after hearing this song that I'm about to share describes her. Especially because you may think those small moments don't matter but they do. And you may get tired at times but don't forget to love while you can and to take in the blessings even when life is hard.
The past few days I've had a lot down time to write more on my blog but if there was a blog I would really want to share is this one. This video is called (Your Perfect) by this guy named Trent. It is well worth the watch.
And it was very much a God thing when I stumbled across it because Trent was sharing the same message that many of my friends have shared with me. This has especially hit me as I've examined my time and where I spend it. I've quickly discovered that I will open up and then shut down because of my fear of rejection. Or I think what I have to say isn't of any importance. I don't know about you but insecurity is my weak spot and my pride.
It's a place I tend to cover up because I don't want to let others inside my world. However, I live there often trapped because I fear that I'll be judged but I think I can let Trent take it from here because what he says is so true but often hard to believe. I hope it will speak to you my friend as it did to me.
In our culture today we are told many things that will make us a women. At the same time our culture has lost the image of what a woman should be. We're also being told that we can do any thing a man can do. I realize what I'm about to say may anger someone but in some ways it is not so true. Ladies! We need to give the men room to be a man! God designed it that way! After all God created Adam before Eve. I think that had to be some indication that God wanted the man to lead. This doesn't mean we become a footstool but it does mean we become his helper. And here is a truth men want to feel strong, wanted and needed but when we're too busy to wearing their shoes we're robbing them from manhood. However, I believe we have created a world of confusion of what a woman should be. Therefore I would like to present 1 Point that I believe sums up the rest:
Be Reverent in Behavior
be appropiate
be meek
Don't draw attention to yourself ( This doesn't mean you can't have a personality)
Your goal is to bring honor to God
And I think if we can capture this truth we will gather the truth of who we're meant to be in the image of Christ.This is also hard to keep in mind because there is always the fine line of not feeling weak. However, I believe it says a women holds a lot of strength when we live in the way God designed us to be. That's where strength comes from and it's not from the things you accomplish because it is only through Christ that any thing is possible.
Also I believe believe this can't go under address men. If this is your prayer of a wife some day , the training starts here. The same to you ladies vice versa. Be man enough to take a stand. Be man enough to let your sisters know that you are man who is seeking God. Be man enough to show respect. And here are some easy steps I believe that will impact:
Be appropriate
Your goal is to bring honor to God
Open the doors for her
Use your manors. Treat her as you would your sister
Encourage her and let her know that by letting you open doors etc gives you honor
And at the same time I can not emphasis this one if not more for both women & men. Be modest.
Imagine if they we're your wife or husband , would you want others to be looking at them in such ways. Girl's I'm going to say as straight as I can ! How you choose to dress shows how you think of yourself and what you attention you are looking for. Goes both ways boys! I know there are many speeches of how woman are to dress modest but men same to you. As your sister I am asking you to step up to this too. You can't tell women or any one else for that matter how to dress if you don't step up to the plate too. I realize there is a lot of info. here but there has to be some changes in this generation. What will your role be and will you live in God's design?
I am delighted to share with you my beautiful friend Benjamin David Atwood! I know a while back I posted a blog about coming to support the Atwood's but now this little boy that has been long awaited is finally here! I don't believe I could cover his story as well or take any credit ; therefore I will let my good friends Magan & Dave take it from here. Their blog is:
http://atwoodadoptionjourney.blogspot.com/
Also just so you can capture the beauty of this little boy here is a photo :) This one is my fave because whenever you look at him; it's like he's smiling back! I hope you will be blessed by his story & journey! At the same time I couldn't pass up not sharing my handsome little friend! Also I believe just by looking at Ben you have to be reminded God doesn't forsake! This is a beautiful picture as well God doesn't forget our desires. It might not look how we imagined but it's perfect!
Last week at my church we we're challenged to do ( 5 Acts of Kindness). However, yesterday when I was out with a sweet friend of mine the 5 Act's we're reversed. It was really something so simple; an employee came over there and gave us 2 free blizzards. And this little moment triggered me to think where has God been all along. He has been right beside me. This is so easy to forget too because we do live in a fallen broken world. We get so tied down by the negatives or desires to know the future but God is often reminding us to look at the simpleness. And on top of the 2 free blizzards I was blessed my friend drove from UC to come see me.
This is definitely a God thing and it shows He knows the longings of our heart. Especially in the moments where we are home sick for a community. And really this has become a domino effect because God has brought letters, and visits as well. This is a God moment for sure because I could of not had any connection but God always seems to find a way fill the longings but He always leaves longing for more because even though I've been blessed in such way there are not moments I don't just wish to be there at UC again with this sweet community.
And it is especially in these moments that I have to realize that perhaps I didn't get to see or be where I wanted at the time but I did get a gift such as these small moments. So perhaps your like me and you just need that boost. So with this in mind, where has God shown you kindness?
This season in my life has been a test of who is in Control of my life. The more I sit in my fear I scramble for control. And it is in this season it has been more of a test for me, especially being a college graduate. Especially as I sit at home because it is a different environment. In college it seem like there was always a plan or you at least had some idea what your agenda was for the day but being out of college feels the exact opposite. It seems to me even more challenging then high school because it now seems like this is where the real practice of being an adult is.
It has also been a test of discovery because it seem like there was so much to occupy my mind in college but now that I'm home waiting for a job, there is more time to think. Sometimes my thinking scares me and so it's why songs like " Take My Hand " by Lindsay McCaul are dear to me in this season. And it has also been a time where I've come to realize how much I live in my fear and so then I tend to pursue control as mentioned.
And I believe the scary part for me also because there is so much time to think that it makes me more aware of my emotions where as if your any thing like me you may tend to run from them. This for me is still a slow balance but today especially I've realize I tend to live here more often then I claim. I tend even let fear control my mind in these areas:
What if I make the wrong move?
What if I'm judged for the mess inside my heart?
Am I really not a burden?
Perhaps you can identify. And here is the truth I'm slowly coming to that when I try to control I only make a bigger mess instead of letting my life flow naturally. I'm still growing in this area and I still feel shame at times but it is in my writing that I hope the lessons I'm learning will help someone else know they are not alone because that's another one of my identification I still have a lot to work on this area but maybe just listening to the song I mentioned can encourage you too.
In this current season or should I say past few weeks the Father has been teaching me the importance of being present. And it is ever so hard because so often we either want to back to are past or we crave to know the futures.
Either way it is not a easy journey for take on. Over the reflection of this God has been teaching me many things such as:
You can't force answers out of God
God's time isn't always are time but it's perfect
Be present
The fruit of our true faith comes with the task: " Will we keep walking and trust?"
This is definitely a challenge of the heart because our hearts can be so weak.Although in the mist of this God has also reassured me of these truths as well:
You are my special possession 2 Peter 2:9
His way is perfect 2 Samuel 22:31
He is faithful Psalm 145:13-14
He restores Colossians 1:14
He hasn't forsaken Psalm 9:10
I know this is brief but sometimes simple is better and I hope it will encourage you because if it is any thing keeping it simple can often be the most powerful moments. I also would like to leave you with a song that has spoken to me lately.
I've also wanted to write this one as well. Just this past couple months in Jan. I attended a conference called Passion. At Passion we we're given candles to represent the 27 Million. Well I had been carrying mine in my purse and now it has become broken. However, looking at it today I was reminded that just like the 27 Million we're all broken. The candle may be broken but it still has potential. About the only thing one could do is melt the wax but it made me think that if we're willing to be open about our brokenness then think about how it could melt into someone else's And this could be the opportunity for someone else to know they are not alone.
And truth of the matter or the conclusion I've been learning this week is that we we're never promised life without adversity. I just think we would like to imagine it at times but it is these moments I am learning that this shows true colors of faith. Also another thought that has challenged me is do I spend most of my time talking about these moments or praying about them. That's a whole other story but I hope when you look at this candle you'll know your not alone.
Not sure if you can tell lol but here is the candle :)
Today I was sitting over some coffee with a friend and we we're talking about Singleness. I was going on about my rant how can people tell you, " Your day will come." Have you heard that line? I have so often wanted to yell back. " How do you know?" Does this make me a doubter? I don't know but I do know that in my opinion can be one of the worst things you can tell a single person. And so it leads us to this portion. My friend asked will , " What should you tell a single person?"
And after I thought about it. I realized there is no easy way about it. I had also been asking friends some questions on singleness as well but this is what I came up with.
It is much better to tell a single person that God has a plan because we know that's true Jeremiah 29:11. This doesn't mean it's easy to receive but it's a promise one can hold onto. Also another tip I would pass along, " Don't say Bless your heart." I heard this at my sister's wedding. Maybe that makes me sound heartless but sometimes you just need to just be there. I think that we sometimes just spit out words because it seems like it's the right thing to do or we feel helpless without saying any thing.
I know I've carried those shoes too. I just believe that just being there goes along way. It may not seem like much but sometimes the person just needs to experience the emotions. I feel like with these two points that just reminding someone that God has a plan for them and being there is the most important thing you can do. People who are single don't need to be looked at as projects either. Just because your friend is single doesn't mean there is something wrong with them or it's your turn to jump in to play cupid Psalm 139. I'm not saying God can't use you to introduce that person but relationships should be natural. I realize this is a mouth full but after dissecting some things I came to this conclusion maybe the answers I have been looking for are this simple. Especially as a single person because I have asked questions such as:
Is there something wrong with me? Psalm 139
What if my letters I write are a waste? ( These are letters I write in hopes one day I will get married but my challenge lately has been will I have peace if I don't marry. And to remember I already have a Husband who has been reading them for a long time God * but whole another story
etc
Those are just a few but I wanted to write this today to encourage others but also just to give insiders view from a single person. Thanks for listening and letting me share!
One of the area's that I have always struggled with for sometime is anxiety. I would never talk about it with any one. In fact I wrote about it some in my blog:
The Tables Open (http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7606946667825615076#editor/target=post;postID=7828151314180459442)
However , I want to address this even more because our culture has given us the idea that we're the crazies or that's the perspective I ended up taking from last semester. I can't express to you how scary it was for me. And even today I am still working out my shame. However, lately it's been a topic in our media. There are even artist like Plumb who has dealt with it.
http://www.newreleasetuesday.com/article.php?article_id=989 ( Her Story)
I know I have never went to that measure but knowing that I 'm not alone encourages me and so I feel like it has to encourage others as well. For too long Satan has fed us lies that we're not good enough. And so today I felt like sharing this in a brief blog. And I hope that perhaps these stories will shed some light because we are more. We just live in a broken world that tells us we're not.
