Recently I heard the voice of around 20 girls who we're crying out their brokenness. These we're girls that a girl on my campus had a chance to love on during the summer at Laurel Lake Baptist Camp. This was even convicting to me because I thought I am just like those 13-17 year old girls. I felt I was at the foot steps of just in amazement of how real they we're.
So I was challenged that night to write my own. These we're some of mine:
My Brokenness......
I have to be the strong one
I feel like I'm a burden to others
I am that women at the well
I am a doormat
And I'm sure there's more to this but it made me realize the struggles I'm having is much deeper then what's going around in my world. You see the tears that I've been allowing inside of me is just really wounded lies. I'm not sure your in that one but I thought if I we're to be honest with those who are reading I would tell you I'm just like you. For you non -believers, I want to tell you the only good thing in me is my Savior. I don't say any of this for attention but if my God can give me boldness to start reaching outside my numbness. I know He can do the same for you! So, whatever this means to you I hope together as we go back in forth that God will show us how to let these walls fall because we we're not meant to be enslaved to shame but to be anchored in love divine!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Youthful Glimpse's
Red stained cherry lip gloss pasted across my lips
as an unfamiliar explosion is on my face
as if my life was not awkward enough
I do not know what any thing means but I walk up in down the halls trying to understand and yet I can barely understand myself
Boys and girls holding hands, say what?
I say oh no what's this territory
Above my head I read Middle school
What does that mean? What am I in the middle of?
Let alone I'm trying to understand my body functions
from my mind to the tip of my heart
Some one get a jar because I can't contain my emotions.
What happen to the day where I only had to worry about coloring in the lines.
No one, told me about the foreign land set ahead
Any one have a road map or a Manuel?
I am lost
I say oh no what will I do
And yet in the mist I keep walking
till I reach a higher ground called high school.
Again a voice whispers what am I doing here?
20 billion voices asking me what I want to do
Yet, let alone I'm just trying to survive high school.
This isn't the world I imagined but it's the world that shaped me
It's the one where I learned that I was not created by accident
It's the one that connected the word and Creator to my heart
It is the one I come to because no matter the expectation
The only expectation is that My Lord gets all the glory
This is the Word I come to and it is the one I cling to.
That is My King whom I call Dad, and this is how I function to even breath!
as an unfamiliar explosion is on my face
as if my life was not awkward enough
I do not know what any thing means but I walk up in down the halls trying to understand and yet I can barely understand myself
Boys and girls holding hands, say what?
I say oh no what's this territory
Above my head I read Middle school
What does that mean? What am I in the middle of?
Let alone I'm trying to understand my body functions
from my mind to the tip of my heart
Some one get a jar because I can't contain my emotions.
What happen to the day where I only had to worry about coloring in the lines.
No one, told me about the foreign land set ahead
Any one have a road map or a Manuel?
I am lost
I say oh no what will I do
And yet in the mist I keep walking
till I reach a higher ground called high school.
Again a voice whispers what am I doing here?
20 billion voices asking me what I want to do
Yet, let alone I'm just trying to survive high school.
This isn't the world I imagined but it's the world that shaped me
It's the one where I learned that I was not created by accident
It's the one that connected the word and Creator to my heart
It is the one I come to because no matter the expectation
The only expectation is that My Lord gets all the glory
This is the Word I come to and it is the one I cling to.
That is My King whom I call Dad, and this is how I function to even breath!
Who Has the Glue stick in Your Life?
Imagine with me your this child. Your in a room and you see the glue! Your curious mind decides what are the possibilities. Then you pick it up pasting it everywhere you can possibly get your hands on! That child is me in a nut shell. I'm quick to past everything and everywhere I think it should go. However, often if your like me it's not till that parent like figure steps into to show you how it should go! I don't know about you but I do it alot. This one especially when I don't understand! I think I even do this one when I think I should make some sort of statement but the truth is God wants you & I to rest in His peace!
This one is not easy at all but it's important to wait! If we dont' wait then it's hard to listen! I find this one also to be apart of me because I'm quick to act like I know what I'm doing but often God is just wanting me to grasp instruction. That's one I fail often to do again! And so when we think about all this in context. I believe there are two real questions:
This one is not easy at all but it's important to wait! If we dont' wait then it's hard to listen! I find this one also to be apart of me because I'm quick to act like I know what I'm doing but often God is just wanting me to grasp instruction. That's one I fail often to do again! And so when we think about all this in context. I believe there are two real questions:
- Where do I paste my life?
- Do I wait or do I spew it out because it sounds good?
Sunday, January 8, 2012
God Sized Measurements
At age 0-1 your expected to walk.
At age 1-2 learning how to walk and sit up
At age 3-4 learning shapes, colors, sounds etc
At age 5-6 learning how to tie shoes and learn the survival route of school.
These are just a few expectations. From the time we're young expectations get set into place. And somehow it can be a trap. For some of us shame mocks us because we are afraid to let any one down. We forget the who equips us. And instead out hearts settle for the brick that blocks the air holes of reality to breath. Therefore if your any thing like me then I'm sure you can relate. For me I know sometimes I will look at people who I think have it together. Therefore I become complacent with the thought I'll never measure up. On the other hand we're forgetting their abilities has nothing to do with who they are. It is the Author of life who designs!
Perhaps our hearts have created their own place of measurement. After all how do the thoughts get there. It's so easy to get congested in lies. I struggle with that one a lot. I don't know about you but there are times I I get upset with myself . And the reality is I'm the one who put the expectations on myself. However, it's just become something accepted in our culture. I'm not saying expectations are bad but they can swallow us up if we're not focused in our trust with God.
This especially true because I know that in my life it's so easy to think how will this one work out but then the real question, " Don't I claim God as Provider?" Talk about a slam! I think many of us do it. And yet, we're too scared to admit it because we're afraid to let the reality our hearts speak. We're too dependent on mans thoughts. Therefore, the real question is how do I encourage myself to remember the true expectation. This is the only way I've found my way out is going to His word! I'm not saying it's easy but sometimes we over look the practical! Definitely a challenge to myself and I pray this can encourage someone that what really matters is seeking God sized measurements!
At age 1-2 learning how to walk and sit up
At age 3-4 learning shapes, colors, sounds etc
At age 5-6 learning how to tie shoes and learn the survival route of school.
These are just a few expectations. From the time we're young expectations get set into place. And somehow it can be a trap. For some of us shame mocks us because we are afraid to let any one down. We forget the who equips us. And instead out hearts settle for the brick that blocks the air holes of reality to breath. Therefore if your any thing like me then I'm sure you can relate. For me I know sometimes I will look at people who I think have it together. Therefore I become complacent with the thought I'll never measure up. On the other hand we're forgetting their abilities has nothing to do with who they are. It is the Author of life who designs!
Perhaps our hearts have created their own place of measurement. After all how do the thoughts get there. It's so easy to get congested in lies. I struggle with that one a lot. I don't know about you but there are times I I get upset with myself . And the reality is I'm the one who put the expectations on myself. However, it's just become something accepted in our culture. I'm not saying expectations are bad but they can swallow us up if we're not focused in our trust with God.
This especially true because I know that in my life it's so easy to think how will this one work out but then the real question, " Don't I claim God as Provider?" Talk about a slam! I think many of us do it. And yet, we're too scared to admit it because we're afraid to let the reality our hearts speak. We're too dependent on mans thoughts. Therefore, the real question is how do I encourage myself to remember the true expectation. This is the only way I've found my way out is going to His word! I'm not saying it's easy but sometimes we over look the practical! Definitely a challenge to myself and I pray this can encourage someone that what really matters is seeking God sized measurements!
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